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every one of those words rang true and glowed like burning coal - Ambar
June 1st, 2003
12:53 am


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every one of those words rang true and glowed like burning coal
Trying the writing an entry from work thing again. I'd forgotten how nifty the folding keyboard for my Palm Vx is. Unfortunately, the Vx itself may be on its last legs -- its battery behaves oddly, as though it's only charging partially when it's in its cradle. Rather than using it as a mini game machine all shift and still having plenty of battery left, I have to play close attention and husband what's there. A replacement is probably in my near future. :-(

Glee! Glee! Glee and bouncing! I have been pinging all my vet acquaintances (and being mightily astonished meanwhile at just how many vets I know; apparently all the time I have spent at veterinary hospitals over the last fifteen years is coming back to me with interest) about advice for getting into vet school.

More than the advice (which has been good), I am intrigued by the fact that every time I have one of these conversations, I am in the clouds afterwards. It's a total contrast to my response to, say, my half-hearted projects to teach myself PHP or Java. Did I say half-hearted? Also uninspired, procrastinatory, and bored. I make a note of this to remind myself that I am in fact doing the right thing, and not merely talking crazy talk about going back to school at my oh-so-advanced age. I mean, I just got off the phone with the mighty Dr. Jane, and I want to dance. Doing so in my spiffy TSA uniform, in front of the passengers, would probably provoke the wrong sort of talk.

Speaking of procrastination. I've been using Life Balance to manage my to-do list for the last month or so. It totally rocks. However, I noticed that there was a small group of items that I was not merely not doing, but fleeing in horror whenever I noticed them. This didn't suit. After casting about a bit, I decided to try this:

  1. Make a list of these items on the Palm. (I could have assigned them to their own context in LB, but that felt more like hiding them from my tender eyes, which is not what I had in mind.)
  2. Set up a 15-minute appointment every morning. To elflet's deep amusement, it is tagged "Eat that frog!" (First thing in the morning, and nothing worse can happen to you the rest of the day... There's actually a book with this title, although I have not read it.)
  3. Work for 15 minutes per day on any one thing from the list. Observed: I can perform the most amazing mental contortions to avoid just doing these things! Thursday was particularly bad -- I sweated, bled, growled, left the computer to whine at elflet, returned and repeated the whole sequence at least twice. OTOH, I got the item DONE. The process is working. I don't fuck with what's working.

What's working in your life?

Current Mood: pleasedpleased
Current Music: "Tangled Up In Blue", Indigo Girls, 1200 Curfews

(13 comments | Leave a comment)

[User Picture]
Date:June 1st, 2003 10:41 am (UTC)
Before I started the process to go back to school, I was really intimidated by it (I still am, kinda), and put off and put off investigating the options (almost too late, as it was!). When I finally got the ball rolling, however, I got so excited. And I still am, every time that I do something necessary to prepare for school in the fall, I come out of it feeling energized and excited (and scared and nervous). I'm really, really looking forward to going back and finding something new for my life.

Occasionally, I fret about the whole 'Gah, I'll be 35 before I graduate, probably' thing and if I do end up pursuing behavioural science in some form, possibly even older than that! On the other hand, I've been unemployed for two years and what should be a stressful time that throws me deep into depression has instead seen me healthier and stronger mentally and emotionally than ever before. I don't need anti-depressants now to keep from sitting in dark rooms contemplating bad things.

I still don't know exactly what I want to do, but I know it's not working in the high tech industry. I'm excited about exploring my options and getting to learn under circumstances where I'm truly motivated to do so. A while back, when it looked like circumstances were going to deny me the opportunity to get into school, I was amazed at how... crushed I felt. It wasn't until that moment that I realized how much hope I have invested in this.

Anyway, I'm really glad that you've struck on something that appeals and I wish the absolute best for you in pursuing it!
[User Picture]
Date:June 1st, 2003 11:34 am (UTC)
has instead seen me healthier and stronger mentally and emotionally than ever before

I'm really glad to hear that. Isn't it great to have found something that is making you excited to be alive? :-)
[User Picture]
Date:June 1st, 2003 12:48 pm (UTC)
Yes! Having been told all my life that I can do anything I want to, it's nice to finally be figuring out what I want to do.:-)

And you're not of an advanced age to be going back to school. My mother went back to school after her kids were out of high school; I went to grad school with a fellow whose kids were out of college; and I once met a 98 year old woman who was going to college because she finally had time to study the stars. So let's not hear anything more about your advanced age, okay?;-)
[User Picture]
Date:June 2nd, 2003 02:43 am (UTC)
Having been told all my life that I can do anything I want to, it's nice to finally be figuring out what I want to do.

Ain't that the truth?

As for age, I was being somewhat sardonic. But, to be fair, the very earliest I can even consider applying, I'll be 38, so it's fair to say I'll be starting a new career in my mid-forties. This is much more common than it used to be, fortunately.
Date:June 1st, 2003 04:16 pm (UTC)
I'm back to school in September for nursing.... so don't talk to me about "advanced age"... you aren't all that much older than I am. :P~

Besides... I've had a hankering to stick needles in someone lately :)
[User Picture]
Date:June 2nd, 2003 02:44 am (UTC)
I've had a hankering to stick needles in someone lately :)

We should make a date for sometime after I get back from Missouri. :-)
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
Date:June 2nd, 2003 02:47 am (UTC)
Is a feeling of joy in action the equivalent of getting an anti-safeword from the Universe?

I think it is. So the tangle between your joys and others' pain might be worth picking apart, or at least examining carefully for assumptions.
[User Picture]
Date:June 6th, 2003 11:46 am (UTC)

I'll hafta try that . . .

Usually it's bills that are my frog. BAD thing to be a frog.

Now that bills are paid (finally), it's gardening. Roses demand pruning.

The weird thing is that most of my frogs-to-eat are things where once I DO it, I feel so good afterwards, like exercise...
Date:July 24th, 2003 10:40 am (UTC)
I wanted to comment on this earlier but didn't get
a chance. It occurred to me that you've still
got resumes outstanding. Supposing someplace like
Google made you an offer at the same time you got
an offer from a vet school. What would you do?
[User Picture]
Date:July 24th, 2003 01:04 pm (UTC)
Hmm, this is not a question I'm really willing to discuss in a non-friends-locked post. Email me privately and I can give you an answer. (I can give you an LJ code too, if you want one.)


Date:July 24th, 2003 05:32 pm (UTC)
I've thought about getting a LJ account, but haven't
seriously pursued it. Mostly, I seem to get the
same level of involvement from usenet news. Anyway,
for what it's worth, about ten years ago I went
through a difficult time trying to decide whether
to stay in the computer field or go to school and
study music. In the end, I decided to stick with
the computer field because I thought that if music
didn't pan out, I would have a difficult time finding
a computer job that I really enjoyed, or at least
had some kind of career path. Our industry moves
quickly and you get left behind if you don't move
with it.


Date:July 25th, 2003 12:30 pm (UTC)
One more thought. I find it easier to learn a new
programming language if there is some project I'm
working on that requires reading or writing in
that language. Otherwise, I tend to find it boring
as well. One thing that helps is if the language
manuals are entertaining. I learned a bit of Python
about a year or two ago by taking something else I'd
worked on and rewriting it in Python. But I didn't
spend any more time on it -- I had other things I
wanted to do, and no real need to learn more of
the language.
Date:July 24th, 2003 10:55 am (UTC)
Sorry, I forgot to sign my last post.

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